


Finding you

by PoizonRoze



Category: Avengers (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: ASS2014 gift, M/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-03-02 07:49:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2804990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoizonRoze/pseuds/PoizonRoze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone grows knowing the stories, the myth about soul mates. About the unyielding connection to another.<br/>Tony and Steve might fight mythical beings but they don't live in a fairy tale. They're not soul mates. They just simply can't think of living a life with out the other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finding you

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Part of the Avengers Secret Santa gift for thatgirlwiththepants. She asked for fluff, angst and they like each other but they’re too stupid to realize it type of fic. I tried but don’t think I got all three. The comics haven’t being too helpful or encouraging for fluff. Hope you like it

_Everyone grows knowing the stories, the myth about soul mates._

_Soul mates are those who are tied to each other since before their first breath and even beyond their last._

_They are the only ones can truly love. And they only ones who can end it all._

_Secretly, it is yearned for and feared._

_Who doesn’t want to meet with the one person that complements them perfectly?_

_Who wants to meet with the one person that can hurt them more than death itself?_

\---

They met in a kingdom of bitter coldness. Steve’s too far gone to realize that above everything, it is Iron Man’s voice that melts away the ice in his veins. It is Iron Man who gives him back his life.

There are a lot of secrets in their relationship, their friendship. But no one can deny how real it is.

Steve might not know who the man behind Iron Man’s armor is, but he _knows_ him.

He knows about his past, what pushed him to become Stark’s last weapon.

He knows his fears and nightmares, the insomnia that plagues him too frequently.

He knows his likes and dislikes, his regrets and hopes.

He might not know about his appearance, but he knows his _soul_.

\---

_It is said that the Fates guide each soul mate. That everything that is needed for soul mates to find each other will happen. Nothing stops the Fates._

_Every moment in life is a step to meet the goal._

_Some bring joy and laughter._

\---

Steve has being feeling conflicted lately. He blushes and stammers, his hands get sweaty and he feels butterflies in his stomach. He has felt this before and he knows what it means. The thing is, it is not just one person that provokes this reaction.

He first noticed it with Iron Man, his teammate and his best friend. He finds himself always training and talking with him, enjoying the proximity and the chance to hear his voice.

He treasures the nights when neither can sleep and instead, they remain side by side as they gaze at the stares. He takes comfort in having him near, even on his worse nights. It is Iron Man’s presence that pushes him to go on.

He can’t ask for more but lately he has begun to wonder…to want more. He thinks of what it would be like if he could truly touch him, hold him and feel his warmth. He wonders about his voice, what it would sound like as he whispers teasing words to his ears.

Then, Tony Stark starts to be around. They begin to interact more, to know each other. He learns about Tony’s enthusiasm and love for engineering. He realizes about his generosity and hidden kindness. He enjoys his humor and finds him quite attractive.

He is drawn to him, like a moth to a flame.

Sure, they fight. They are too different. Tony is too realistic while he is called an idealist. Tony is a futurist, building for the tomorrow with every invention. Steve knows a part of him will always belong to the past

There are too many things they can’t agree on but whenever Tony walks in, he just wants to be close to him.

Steve feels divided. He knows his falling in love, but he can’t comprehend how he is falling for two people at the same time. He is confused.

Until he isn’t.

Thanks to the villain of the week, Iron Man sat on the floor dazed and without his helmet.

In front of him laid Tony Stark, armor covering everything but his face.

Steve is slightly worried; Tony is blabbing on nonsenses. But what he feels the most is giddiness and excitement. He’s no longer conflicted about his feeling. He feels at peace and complete.

Iron Man is Tony Stark.

And he is in _love_ with him.

\---

Tony is a genius. He can see what will happen before others can even understand what’s in front of them.  But he is nowhere near prepared when the epiphany hit him.

Surprisingly, it is a quiet night and they are just hanging out. They are on the couch, watching one of the many movies Steve must see. The takeout is done and after a few hours of iffy special effect, Steve has dozed off.

Tony himself is quite close in following him, slowly drifting to him and losing coherent thought. Yet that’s when it hit him.

The dots connect and he realizes there is nowhere he did rather be. There is no one he would chose to be with but Steve

He finally understands the comfort and warmth he feels every time they talk. He recognizes the reasons for the skipped beats his heart has when Steve gets close to him. He comprehends why he feels the need to give Steve everything he can.

It is not only friendship …it is love.

He knows he will not react well later on, when he’s more than have awake and leaning on Steve.

He will probably lock himself in his workshop and drink to oblivion. But right now he can only feel at peace.

He knows he’s not worthy of Steve, that he will never have him. Not the way he wants him.

But he also knows he can keep this. He can keep Steve’s smiles and kind words. He can have his back pressed to his as they fight together, side by side.

He can have late nights in front of the TV and lazy days where they only hang out and talk.

He will never have Steve as his lover, won’t ever have the right to kiss him and hold him in his arms.

But he has him in his life and it is enough. With him by his side, even if is only as a friend, he is safe and warm.

He is _home._

\---

Sometimes they go out to eat. Some of the guys go with them from time to time, but usually is only them two.

No, it’s not a date…he just wishes it was.

He’s telling Tony of how beautiful the city looks when the sun sets.

He has lost sight of what’s going on around him. He has only eyes for Tony.

He’s not sure who is first, but they start to lean towards each other. Millimeters before their lips touch, the Avengers’ alarms rings, stopping them.

Unwilling, they separate. Without losing eye contact, they start moving to get ready.

It is not the first time things got heated and something almost happened. It is the one thing that makes him think that maybe he is not alone in this.

It is not the first time nor will it be the last time.

This will continue.

Hopefully, next time they can finally get to the kiss and to say those words that have been stuck in his throat for quite a while.

\---

_Others, however, aren’t as kind._

_Some can only mean heartbreak._

\---

 _“You gave me a home.”_ Steve says as he feels his world _crumbling_ down in to nothing. This was their last _chance_ to end this peacefully, he knows.

Just as he walks out he feels a pang, like a rubber band being stretch too thin.

\---

 _“What are you waiting for, Steve? Finish it.”_ Tony says, knowing nothing but pain. It wasn’t the physical aspect that was tearing him apart. It was the knowledge, the fact that there was no hesitation in Steve. He had come here ready to take him out and he _would_.

His had been hurt before, been made almost useless. But this, this _broke_ him into nothingness.

\---

Steve never knew and Tony won’t ever remember, but when Steve was shot, Tony also went down. When Steve’s heart stopped, so did Tony’s.

As Tony tried to reach Steve’s bloody form, to fight the pain that nearly render him unconscious, he felt the shatter of his heart. He felt the snapping of a bond that left him empty.

“ _It wasn’t worth it!”_ He’d said as he held onto a cold hand, as cold as the day when they met.

He felt a hole in his chest bigger than the arc rector could ever cover. He used to say he didn’t have a heart. Now he knew he did.

And it shall be _buried_ in the same ice he founded it.

\---

_There are many stories._

_Most are fairytales, twisted facts that are now nothing more than bedtime’s stories._

_But there is still some truth in them._

_One of the things that are always said is about the pull. It is not a visual red thread that guides you or a voice in your head that tells you “this is it”. There is no measurable sign as proof. It is just known._

_Somehow, it is realized that you can’t be without that person, that you are complete and life it’s at its fullest. It is as if something inside of you connects and you are finally alive. It is an inexplicable sensation._

_You realize that you will do it all if only to remain by their side for a second longer._

\---

They try. But there are too many holes in them. They have been beaten and torn apart, left with nothing but pieces that don’t fit together anymore.

They know something is missing. And no matter how much they ask and seek information, they can’t find it.

But it is there, in the back of their minds, in the soft beating of their hearts. There is something that whispers and pulls until they come face to face once more.

When Tony proposes the new start of the Avengers, guilt and grief chokes him and tries to drown him. But underneath it, there is also hope and joy.

He knows his last victory cost him too much and this new battle will probably end with him in a coffin.

Yet as he shows Steve the plans for the Avengers’ Tower, he can only think that this can get him more time. He can have Steve by his side for a while longer. He can give him what he deserves and prepare him for what is to come.

He feels a happiness he cannot express with words when Steve accepts his idea.

He knows this will only hurt more later, but he doesn’t regret it, he can’t.

Because even when he forgot all, he never forgot his love for Steve.

And he will damn himself time and time again, if only to see Steve’s eyes shine with life and joy.

\---

_It might take long to find the person that fit you perfectly._

_But you will find that person. The Fates will make sure of that._

_Life will go in circles until the couple finds each other and they become what they are meant to be; two pieces of a puzzle finally meeting and completing the picture is was always meant to be._

_Even if it means to be shatter and put back together again and again._

\---

“ _You used me!”_ Steve says as rage and hurt consume him. As he feels the tear of something inside him.

Then he looks at Tony. Unapologetic and unfeeling Tony. Tony- No, _Stark_. Stark who has always known how to push his bottoms. How to get his way.

He can’t help himself. He has to ask. He already knows the answer, but he has to hear him say it.

_“Which one of you broke first, Tony? Who was it?”_

He sees it, the way he refuses to meet his eyes.

Then he starts talking, indifferent in his replay _“You.”_

After the confrontation, after he has stained his hand with _his_ blood once more, he can only feel emptiness. He feels as if an important part is lost.

\---

Seeing Tony surprises him. He was preparing for the fight, that’s why he came.

He was ready since he began the hunt. Since he used the very same technology and team _he_ built to find him.

But he did not expect to be crush by his feelings.

For the first time in months, since he last seen _him,_ he feels something. Something other than the pressing _need_ to find him.

He has found him, but he can’t believe it as he stares at a broken man.

\---

Tony’s not too sure how he got here.

There are a lot of things he’s not sure about.

It feels as if he’s watching his life from the outside. It is him who moves and speaks. But he doesn’t feel in control. Not really.

He knows he was the one who chose to give extremis away. To leave Steve behind.

He knows he did it and a part of him is glad. But another, one that is as caged as he is physically, is horrified.

He feels hollowed. Undone.

He feels nothing even when Natasha and Jessica come.

Then Natasha mentions Steve and something inside of him comes alive.

It is unreasonable and consuming.

He’s speaking, he needs to know more. Where is he? He needs him. Needs to get out of the cage. Go to him, see him, be with him.

He is driven by his worse flaws. He knows. He tried to control it but it did not work. It was only slowed down.

Now they have taken complete control.

He doesn’t care, he only knows want.

The things is, one of his flaws is desire. And he has never wanted anything more than Steve by his side.

\---

They’re facing each other again. Steve doesn’t know how Stark escape his prison or why he’s even in this fight.

They had being fighting against Red Skull, the monster who ever seem to stay dead. It been a long fight and the team is exhausted. They have no time to fight him as well.

Unsurprisingly, Stark goes directly after him.

It is nothing short of chaos, their foot prints and gunfire dirtying the snow they stand on. As always, winter only remains him of what he has lost.

The gaunt is point at him, lighting up and getting ready for a shot. He barely has time to use his shield. Either way, he’s thrown off.

It takes him a few seconds to react, to start standing up. He sees Iron Man standing in front of him, his back to him.

A clear shot for him if he wishes to take it.

Confusion stops him. He should know better than to show his back to an enemy.

Of course, he sees it too late.

He sees the lights of the attack illuminating the armor. The blow directed his way is intercepted by Iron Man. However, it is strong enough to send him crashing a few feet away.

He is ready for the next attack, just like the rest of the Avengers who have already launch a counterattack.

But Tony isn’t getting up.

He just is lying there in the snow. There’s no movement, no noise.

Silence has never been so deafening to him.

He doesn’t know when he started running to him. All he knows is the desperation pulling him forward.

\---

He has woken up too many times likes this to not recognize his heart being monitored. He knows the beeping noise, the while and dull walls.

What he doesn’t understand is the warmth from his right hand. He opens his eyes to see Steve holding his hand.

He’s asleep, but even so, he’s not letting go.

When Steve finally wakes up, he only holds on tighter.

“ _You’re an idiot_.” He says after a long time of silence.

Tony can’t get his mouth speak, but Steve doesn’t need to hear him. He already knows his answer, and so he continues.

“ _But so am I. You once said you weren’t half as good as when you were next me. We both forgot it was the same for me._ ”

He barely lets go of his hand before embracing him. He’s holding him tightly, afraid he will disappear if he lets go. His face is hidden in his shoulder.

Tony can only cling to him, just as afraid.

 _“I almost lost you.”_ he hears in a broken tone. “ _I’m a fool, and even more so for wanting to try again.”_

Tony chokes out the only thing he can say, “ _Yes.”_

They will try again. But this time it will be different. They will learn to compromise. They cannot bear to lose each other, not again.

Steve’s smile is small and broken, just as his is, he knows. But it is real, they both are

After months of nothingness they can only feel complete as they sit together, hand in hand, thinking of the future, _their_ future.

\---

_A few believe that everyone has a soul mate. That only a few “find” their partner because only a few accept it._

_But that many find each other anyways. They remain side by side. Somehow finding reason to always be near. Some may never become a couple. Might never confess their love._

_But they don’t part, not truly. They might leave on separate paths, but they will return to each other. They will remain together, tied in an unbreakable way._

_And maybe one day, they will realize they are no longer alone. They have found each other, just as they belong._


End file.
